Elements of Desire

What you desire relates to what “triggers” inspire your attention. All our basic triggers are different because they were formed by experiences throughout our lives. Most are formed between 6 and 10 years of age. Some have been found to begin in uteri.


Some people are turned on by red heads, some by blondes, and some by black hair. Some like thin body types while others prefer the larger body types. These are all basic triggers and there is a debate in the psychological community as to why we have these various triggers. Many believe that our triggers are formed by stimuli (positive or negative) that occurred during an experience with a person of similar characteristics. Many of us cannot remember the event that created the trigger, but they have become part of our fabric.

Understanding our triggers: Most people respond to their subconscious desires without consciously understanding what they are. We have developed a series of questions designed to make you think about what your desire triggers are and how they impact your sexual arousal. In many cases, just thinking about these elements can help you understand your triggers better.  If you would like to do this exercise, click here Desire Map. This exercise does not give you a result, it is intended to bring some of your subconscious  elements up so they can be recognized by your conscious self.

Thoughts for further discussions:

  • Can we alter our desires?
  • Can we desire things outside our triggers?

Many of our desires and triggers are programmed into but the culture that we were raised in for examle:

Do you have to fit into your cultural norms?