Phase 1. Intention and mind set
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The Biological imperative for sex is the procreation and continuation of the species. As such, for most people sex has a distinct goal – orgasm. Unfortunately, this causes many people feel that orgasm is the only thing in sex. Until this is understood and controlled it leads to performance stress and premature orgasms, especially in men. Even with the biological imperative being a null factor in gay sex, the goal, focus and related problems still exist.
On other hand, Tantra is not “goal oriented”, yet it has a purpose – the union of mind and body, to merge with your partner in all possible aspects. You can do this by looking for the glory in your partner and in yourself. Focusing on those things of beauty and wonder that you want to share and celebrating them. Life and love is too short to waste time on the negative – what you do not like or should be improved. This is a waste of personal energy and can only get in the way of the joy of loving.